12 August 2013


Our lives have changed so much this year, the last few years. I lost 30 lbs, got pregnant, gained a bunch but got to watch our miracle I prayed years for grow. Our miracle is now a year, WHAT! *cry cry* It was so bittersweet to celebrate her birth-day & her party. Her actual birthday was at an A's game, they lost, & her party was that Saturday (aug 3rd). It was so so so so bittersweet. My baby has grown. She doesn't like baby food & wants to feed herself. I don't have the patiences most of the time for her to spoon/fork feed herself but she's great with finger foods. She's a pretty good eater, variety wise, but I worry about the amount she eats. I knew exactly how much baby food she ate because I weighed it or the jar said so. Yes, I was lazy sometimes & used gerber. Also used the same jar to make baby food, so convenient! Now she feeds herself & seems she eats so little. It's frustrating. She's only gained, according to our scale, .2 lb in 7-8 weeks. GAIN KID GAIN!!! I thought for sure she'd be 15-15.5 lbs by now, she feels heavy. Nope, not even 15 (first thing in the morning). Her 1 year appt is today at 2 so she should have a good amount of food in her, definitely should be over 15 lbs. *Fingers crossed* She crawls like crazy & walks along furniture & toys. She's not too sure about the push-walker but we'll get there.

We lost a member of our family, Cinnamon. Cinn bit/attacked Katie so when we went to CA we gave her to Mike's brother. Katie only ended up with 3 little gashes & was completely fine. We couldn't keep Cinn & our options were putting her down or giving her to Mike's brother. He's always wanted her so it was our choice. Now I will tell you right now I don't give a rat's ass what you think we should've done. Most people think she should've been put down but she wasn't their dog & it wasn't their decision. It was ours & we made the one that felt right. Turns out brother expected a perfect dog & failed to realize she'd have issues after being uprooted from the life she's known for 3 years. We were her at least 3rd family & her longest family. It can't be easy. Also apparently she's left for long periods of time. Honestly I wish we would've put her down because she deserves better. I thought she was going to a family who had time for her & boatloads of love. They knew she needed a ton of attention & assured us she would get it. I don't know where she is, if they're still trying or not. I want to know but don't because it might not be a pretty situation. And I'm not talking for Cinn, I'm talking for me & what I may do. It didn't hit me, giving her up, until we got home. I miss her terribly & want her back. I know that's not an option, I can't have an aggressive dog around our daughter, but I wish it was. It's weird not having her here & I think there will always be a piece missing from my life. She was my dog-daughter & I expected to always have her.

Once again, I'm trying to get healthy. I let myself go badly and now that little miss is eating big people food and likes veggies/fruit I need to set an example. She wants to eat whatever you're eating so no more chips & crackers, no more junk. I have to share so I need to be eating something I'll feel good about sharing. Hopefully I can lost a grip of weight too!!! :)

Well that's it. Tschuess!