Horrible Mom

We seem to find ourselves between a rock & a hard place with it seems no place to go. On Wednesday, while I was in the bathroom Cinnamon attacked Katie. From what I gathered Cinnamon was sleeping on the couch & got spooked when Katie crawled into the room. Yeah, big bad 14.5 lb crawling baby. Katie ended up with scratches & 3 gashes on her head & forehead. They didn't seem super bad so I tried to treat them myself. We did end up taking her to the ER & she just ended up needing sterile strips to close/go over the little gashes. She's on an antibiotics too. We knew we couldn't keep Cinnamon, not after attacking Katie. She's always been a growly bitch but it seems to be increasing. When Cinn sleeps she wants no one around her, to come near her, or even move! We didn't want Cinn put down because she can be loving & she is nice to Katie when she wants to be. She's kissed Katie & tried to play with her. But Katie will continue to grow & become more mobile. She'll grab more & just .. yeah. Another attack would happen & Cinn would be put down. So we found a new home for her with a family member. Fast forward to now. Cinnamon has always seem to have skin issues on her belly. I don't know if the ants bite her or she lays in plants that irritate her skin, whatever. Usually goldbond helps. So I'm sure her skin was irritated before but after the attack & being kenneled by us for a few hours she has caused herself harm. She scratched the crap out of her belly & underarms. She has a puss-filled lump under one arm. We put boots on her back feet & got a cone to stop all scratching & licking but she needs to see a vet. Bad! Only problem, she's on 10 day quarantine! I mentioned going to get her shots before heading to Ca & the guy looked like he was going to harm me! She's not allowed to leave the house, no if's, ands, or buts! I'm trying to treat/help her the best I can but I'm not a vet. I tried an epsom salt soak/rag which probably really didn't help. Why would it? Salty water soak on red irritated skin? Stupid online suggestion! I didn't think it through, it probably was so incredibly painful, but I was just trying to help! Then I made an oatmeal paste we left on for a little while. I think that did help but she's still so messed up. Touching even near the area makes her jump & jerk. She has to slowly inches herself down to sleep. For the longest time last night she wouldn't even lay down, it hurt her too much. After the oatmeal she did lay down, slowly but surely. I'll continue to do oatmeal treatments but I really need Mike to help because someone has to hold her & try to calm her. Also, SHE NEEDS A VET! Mike is suppose to call & explain the situation but I have little faith. In any other case not taking her to the vet would be animal cruelty. She's in pain, serious pain, & we can't do anything about it. If I had only put Katie in the playpen after our nap & while I went to the bathroom. It was only 30 seconds but Katie is fast & Cinnamon was in a mood I guess. If only I had listened to my conscious! Something told me I should put Katie in the playpen, not let her free, but ... I didn't listen. I didn't listen & I regret it so incredibly much. Now my child has wounds on her forehead & Cinnamon has wounds too that can't be properly treated. Also, we have to give Cinnamon away. To someone who has loved her since he met her, actually before he met her because he loves bassets, but still to someone else. In a way I feel we're abandoning her. We rescued her from the pound, we were suppose to be her forever family. She has issues & I wonder if her new home/parents can handle them. I know they'll love her & probably give her way more attention than we can. Don't get me wrong, this dog gets tons of attention, but she's also jealous of all other attention Hershey & Katie get. But she does have issues. Will she bark too much for them? For their neighbors? Will she rebel from being rehomed & run away or be aggressive? I just have concerns but I guess they don't matter. It's this new home or be put down. It'll do her good to be the only dog in the house & that's what she'll be with her new family. We'll take her to Ca & not bring her back. That'll be weird. But I know she'll be so loved & spoiled. I just really hope they can accept her, flaws and all. At least she has a second chance. Really, it's like her 4th. She was found on the street by her previous owner so we're her at least 3rd owner. I expected her last but ... life happens I guess. :( I just really hope we're able to get her vet care before we leave. The day her quarantine is lifted is the day we're suppose to leave. That's still a week away & she can't wait a week to be treated. Not when it hurts her to walk or move. I'm afraid if we take her against their will they'll take her so I really hope they understand & let us get her treated! Poor Cinnamon & poor Katie! At least Katie isn't afraid of the dogs. She went right up to Hershey after getting home from the ER. Cinnamon mostly stays away from Katie but she has kissed her hand & walked by her. Well, that's about it. My epic mom fail! I let my daughter & dog-daughter down!